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I'm Peeved

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Monkeyboy, Jul 6, 2017.

  1. Monkeyboy

    Monkeyboy Most Honored Senior Member Strat-Talk Supporter

    May 23, 2015
    Ghost Dog Heart
    That really sucks bad not being able to say goodbye. I don't know if it would help in the long run; nothing seems to.
    I've cried every day since we found out Zeus was sick in February, and we've both taken a severe beating since we buried him
    in May. There's a deep sadness that has integrated itself into our souls , and in away we don't want that to go away completely, because it means forgetting him. That's the cruel thing about it all, the resiliency of life , the ability of humans to recover and exist by going into denial (about all kinds of things).

    It's paradoxical too, because there's so much unconditional love surrounding these fuzzbutts , and they fill our lives up in ways that people don't (not that we don't need people) . The agony of losing them is intertwined with an intense love, at least for now. I can sometimes feel the love and gratitude for having had little Z man for 13 years, but really, it's still entangled with the grief , and it's pretty bad whenever I remember him for real .

    So, I'm not going to try and cheer anybody up, because I don't even know that that's appropriate or effective or necessary .
    Maybe that's just what we do to help make each other "feel better" . It's not like I love wallowing in grief, because I don't .
    I did my self-pity phase as a drunk , long ago. This is real-to-the-bone love and loss , no camouflage or pretense , just the reality
    of having an amazing little friend create and fill up a huge space in my heart, and then have it break , and be crushed for as long
    as it lasts . I'm getting old, and I understand people who say they want to go be with their deceased loved ones . Makes perfect sense to me :cool:
     
    Bodean and s5tuart like this.

  2. Monkeyboy

    Monkeyboy Most Honored Senior Member Strat-Talk Supporter

    May 23, 2015
    Ghost Dog Heart
    Oh, and I'm still piffed . Angry at the powers that be. Short fuse
    and ready to rumble . Socially rough around the edges these days .
    I don't give a crap half the time; I have developed a bad attitude.
    One reason I've stayed away from here, so I don't take it out
    on innocent bystanders . This too shall pass . Funny being sensitive
    but mean as a bear sometimes :whistling: Whatever . Soon enough I'll be
    among the grateful dead :thumb: . Not morbid, just realistic :cool:
     
    Stormy Monday and Bodean like this.

  3. Bodean

    Bodean You'll shoot your eye out kid Strat-Talk Supporter

    Age:
    50
    Aug 23, 2014
    South Carolina
    I just hope that ghost thing is true. I got a lot of people to haunt when I die. I am going to be a super villain polter-goost.:D
     
    Stormy Monday and Monkeyboy like this.

  4. Monkeyboy

    Monkeyboy Most Honored Senior Member Strat-Talk Supporter

    May 23, 2015
    Ghost Dog Heart
    Lemme guess, you go "WOOO" instead of "BOO !" ? :rolleyes:


    (you walked right into that, didn't you :whistling:)
     
    Bodean likes this.

  5. Bodean

    Bodean You'll shoot your eye out kid Strat-Talk Supporter

    Age:
    50
    Aug 23, 2014
    South Carolina
    Man that's a great idea. Wished I would have thought of that.:D