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Lead singer band drama

Discussion in 'Bands on the Run' started by RichieS, Oct 31, 2017.

  1. bish0p34

    bish0p34 Senior Stratmaster

    Dec 11, 2013
    Alexandria, Va.
    Can the band work without her?

    Fire her. Give in to one ultimatum, get ready for more.
     
    Ebidis and fezz parka like this.

  2. RichieS

    RichieS Strat-Talker

    Age:
    37
    146
    Sep 1, 2016
    The City
    All of what you said is very true. Based on what I've observed so far, the angry/upset singer is the most talented singer in the band. She only gets to sing lead on 3 or 4 songs IN THE WHOLE SET! If you ask me, her talents are underutilized. She has a legitimate gripe, but the way she's going about resolving the issue is only going to cause more fighting
     

  3. rolandson

    rolandson Senior Stratmaster

    Jul 13, 2015
    Cascadia
    Never much cared for dramatics mixed with inflated egos. One of the benefits of remaining the ubiquitous "side guy"...I miss out on the purges that follow the dust up!
     
    RichieS likes this.

  4. RichieS

    RichieS Strat-Talker

    Age:
    37
    146
    Sep 1, 2016
    The City
    She is a very talented singer, but her talents were underutilized in this group. I think she sang lead on maybe 3 or 4 songs. Her ear for harmony will be missed...

    EDIT: to answer your question, yes the group will work without her
     
    davidKOS likes this.

  5. Kstu

    Kstu Strat-Talk Member

    Age:
    42
    48
    Oct 18, 2017
    Massachusetts
    I played drums for a band and replaced a drummer that was phenomenal and just way beyond what i was capable of. But the singer and writer wanted me over the other im gonna guess because of the type of person i was. Some will sacrifice one or the other maybe not for the rights reasons.
     

  6. bish0p34

    bish0p34 Senior Stratmaster

    Dec 11, 2013
    Alexandria, Va.
    It's sad when it comes to this, but sometimes that's what you have to do. There are much better ways that this situation could've been handled than with an ultimatum.
     

  7. Vjerilood

    Vjerilood Strat-O-Master

    Age:
    52
    678
    Jul 30, 2017
    USA
    When someone says do this or I’ll quit, there’s only one sensible response.

    Bye.
     

  8. Vjerilood

    Vjerilood Strat-O-Master

    Age:
    52
    678
    Jul 30, 2017
    USA
    I noticed that too because the other guitarist in our band is dead set against women in the band. He’s had some bad experiences with prima donnas so he’s generalizing. Shame, we could do so much with a lady at the mic.
     

  9. mad axe man

    mad axe man Senior Stratmaster

    Jul 23, 2016
    ontario canada
    need pics of these 3 female singers to decide...lol
     
    Tone Guru and circles like this.

  10. fezz parka

    fezz parka The Wiggler of Sticks Strat-Talk Supporter

    Gender has nothing exclusive regarding bunghole behavior. :D


    My Dad used to tell me this:

    "Boy, no one likes an arsewhole. But if you're gonna be an arsewhole, be the biggest one in the room."
     

  11. Electgumbo

    Electgumbo Most Honored Senior Member

    Dec 26, 2010
    Scott La.
    The dice is cast. If you give in next week it’ll be something else. But as you say you’ve got work coming up which normally means you can get a replacement. Perhaps someone better. Couldn’t she have brought up these tunes in rehearsal without the ultimatum?

    Our female vocalist ( old friend long time member ) started giving us terrible, ultimatums and missed gigs.
    We would bring in other females singers from around the area to fill in for her... until we found someone that was better then our singer. She was real good and never complained and no drama. After a while we noticed the gigs went better with the replacement singer then with our old friend that seemed to cause cumas (chaos) the nights she did show up. So we fired our singer and gave the gig to her replacement. We also figured out that it was our singers new husband filling her head with stuff and poisoning her against us. But hey that’s water under the bridge. Our old singer posted on FB yesterday “looking for musicians to start a band” .... that would be her third or fourth band in the last few years. Her projects never last and we keep chugging right along
     

  12. BallisticSquid

    BallisticSquid Senior Stratmaster

    Oct 12, 2016
    US
    It took until post #30 for somebody to say this?? :).
     
    fezz parka likes this.

  13. CigBurn

    CigBurn Most Honored Senior Member Strat-Talk Supporter

    Age:
    60
    Jun 22, 2014
    The Shed
    Yeah, gotta let that one go..

    I'd say "Hey I guess all we can do is wish you the best on your future endeavors, but we do appreciate the suggestions on material to showcase the voices of "______" &"_______"".

    :D

    May as well go out swingin!
     

  14. RichieS

    RichieS Strat-Talker

    Age:
    37
    146
    Sep 1, 2016
    The City
    Sorry if my OP sounded sexist. Totally not my intent and I apologize for the oversight

    Male and Female lead singers are equally capable of being egomaniacs. I have experienced both kinds and they are equally annoying.
     

  15. Groovey

    Groovey Senior Stratmaster

    Age:
    57
    Nov 17, 2016
    NC. USA
    I'd expect you'll be fine with two female singers and bit more pocket change.
     
    Vjerilood likes this.

  16. The Strat Dude

    The Strat Dude Duderino Strat-Talk Supporter

    There can be drama (and will be ) in any band with any mix of peoples. I think it should be able to be worked out. I would just expect it would have to come down like " hey stop complaining " and that may be the end, then so be it.
     
    BallisticSquid likes this.

  17. BallisticSquid

    BallisticSquid Senior Stratmaster

    Oct 12, 2016
    US
    It wasn't your post, it was more the direction that the thread took.

    Divas, not matter which gender, are a pita to deal with :p.

    Sexism that I've experienced in bands came from the females interestingly enough. In one band I was in, we had a female drummer and she was adamant that we not have a female singer...they cause too much drama. In my current band, we have a female singer and bass player. The singer told me that she was reluctant to bring her into the band because of potential drama. She admits herself that she is so glad the rest of the band convinced her otherwise because this gal is an awesome bass player and everything you could want in a band mate.

    Both of those situations left me shaking my head...can't we just get along and play music!?!?!?
     

  18. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music. Strat-Talk Supporter

    Dec 1, 2009
    My house.
    No.
     
    Paperback Rocker likes this.

  19. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music. Strat-Talk Supporter

    Dec 1, 2009
    My house.
    If I was band leader, depending on the history, Id ask why she gave an utimatum, instead of just asking.

    My guess is she has tried before and been ignored.

    As far as OP is concerned, due to his position in the band, he gets to watch it unfold.
     
    RichieS likes this.

  20. papergoblin

    papergoblin Strat-Talker

    Age:
    36
    322
    Sep 21, 2017
    Alabama
    Sounds to me she wants to be the "star" hence suggesting songs that really only "need" one singer. I'd say she's trying to push out the other ladies. Since she wrote how the other women look, I'd say she has some self worth issues.

    I know/have known quite a few women that cannot be friends with other women (not many at least). There are quite a few that are just too jealous. It's like the girl that wants to be one of the guys, but doesn't want any other women around, because she might lose the attention (which of course she doesn't want or so says).

    Play what pays, update the set(s) as needed. Evolving or changing is good but it has to be with everyone involved.
     
    craigh likes this.