...and that's how the fight got started.

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by KRamone27, Jul 31, 2010.

  1. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    Ever wonder in your relationships, how 'the fight' started...:

    1. One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

    The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

    When she asked him why, he replied,

    "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started...
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    2. I took my wife to a restaurant.

    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

    'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And that's when the fight started...
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    3. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary..

    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started...
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    4. My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

    'Yes,' she sighed,

    'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

    'My goodness!' I said. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...
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    5. I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    And then the fight started....
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    6. THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:

    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf or my Mosrite guitar. Always something more important to me.

    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a tooth-brush.

    I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'

    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

    And that's how the fight started................
    :D
     
  2. gcat

    gcat Senior Stratmaster

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    Good ones all Kevin!
     
  3. StratDen

    StratDen Senior Stratmaster

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    LOL! I got a kick out of the "you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
     
  4. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    I got a kick out of these as well.
     
  5. uncle buck

    uncle buck Strat-Talk Member

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    ........................
     
  6. anfontan

    anfontan Strat-O-Master

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    That was some good stuff Kevin, it sure gave me a laugh to start my day! :twisted:
     
  7. Randles

    Randles Strat-Talker

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    Haha very good indeed :D
     
  8. 1962dguitargeek

    1962dguitargeek Strat-Talker

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    haahhahhaa


    good stuff!
     
  9. Hugh

    Hugh Got Cluck ?

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    That's golden !
     
  10. LeftyBlake

    LeftyBlake Most Honored Senior Member

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    Number four made me laugh quite a bit. Funny stuff!
     
  11. Grounded

    Grounded Senior Stratmaster

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    My wife asked me if her dress made her look fat. I said no
    That's how the fight started

    One week later she asks me if that same dress made her look fat, so I said yes
    Thats how I wound up in the hospital.
     
  12. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    My buddys girlfriend asked me if her sweater made her look fat. My response was the sweater doesn't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat.:)
     
  13. emac

    emac Strat-Talker

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    Mine always starts with "Hey Honey, Look what I found on Craigslist!!"
     
  14. Hugh

    Hugh Got Cluck ?

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    you too huh ? ;)
     
  15. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    So I told my wife I wanted yet another guitar because I don't have one in Seafoam Green.

    And then the fight started.
     
  16. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    So my wife told me that if I get another guitar then she gets 10 more pairs of shoes.

    And then the fight started.
     
  17. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    So I called my wife and asked her if she wanted to go out to dinner. She said yeah. I said, "ok take the kids to mcdonalds, I'm working late.

    And then the fight started.
     
  18. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    This old story out of Texas...

    Seems a guy cruises through a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands
    the Officer hisdriver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.
    "Okay, Mr. Smith," the officer says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?"
    Mr. Smith replied "Yes I am." So the officer responded, "Well then, better tell me what you got."
    Smith says "Well, I got a 357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box,
    and I've got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot."
    "Okay," the officer says. "Anything else?"
    Smith says "Yeah, back in my trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. That's about it."
    The officer then asks, "Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun show range?"
    Smith: "Nope."
    The officer says, "Well then, what are you afraid of.....?"

    "Not a dam thing......." :mrgreen:
     
  19. Ravie

    Ravie Strat-Talker

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    Not trying to turn this into a discussion but...this made me laugh. Here in KS we don't have to tell an officer we have CCW permits or that we are carrying. BUT...when he goes to his squad car to see that your information is accurate, etc...he'll automatically see that you have one, and then promptly ask you why you didn't tell him, and then head into the are you carrying spiel, and depending how big of a dick he is, make you produce it, which we all know is illegal, but we'll do anyway because of the pain in the ass of having to deal with self-righteous arsehole cops.

    Mods can delete this if they feel it necessary...I'm not trying to make a point...just sort of "funny" to me...
     
  20. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    True story. Friend of mine was in the park after dark with this women they get done "talking" and as he is leaving gets pulled over for bing in the park after dark. Shows the cop his CCW. Cop having never seen one ask what it is. My friend tells him and the cop starts shaking.Ask my friend if he has it now and my friend says yes the glock is under my seat. Cop freaks out even more tells him he is free to go.

    Phone rings two minutes later. It is his mother asking him where he is at. He says Well I was taking Krab home after work and I'm heading home. She says really you aren't at the park? He said no Mom I'm mot at the park. She comes back with, "So there two ( name redacted) driving a surfgreen 92 Mustnang? Because it just came over the scaner watch out for surfgreen mustang the driver has a gun in his car."