...and that's how the fight got started.

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by KRamone27, Jul 31, 2010.

  1. bbarott

    bbarott Most Honored Senior Member

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    So my brother's in a bar in Odessa Texas, and the cowboys are doing the predictable thing, drinking to Texas women (prettiest in the world), Texas beer (best in the world), Texas steaks (best in the world), Texas pool tables (best ..), Texas this and that. Little brother stands up and proposes a toast to Belton, Texas (absolute best part of Texas) being the dead center of the state.

    A few beers later one of the cowboys takes the bait and asks 'So just why is the geographical center of Texas the best part?', to which my brother replies 'Because no matter which way you go from there, you're leaving!!!'

    And that's how the fight started.
     
  2. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    Them there are fightin' words :p

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbH60wCO-Yw
     
  3. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a Prostate exam.
    Of course I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.......
    The waiting room was filled with patients.
    As I approached the receptionist's desk, I noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

    I gave her my name.

    In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
    All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.
    But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION,
    BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

    The room erupted in applause!

    DON'T MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS!!!
     
  4. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    Subject: John and his Parrot

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
    Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change
    the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think
    of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
    parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in
    the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
    for over a minute.

    Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
    onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm
    sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my
    rude and unforgivable behavior."

    John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

    As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very
    softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
     
  5. bbarott

    bbarott Most Honored Senior Member

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    Oh, no doubt. Texas, what's not to like (outside of the heat and the skeeters)? Always have a good time there. In fact, my little brother went to school there. It was in a bar, somewhere near Odessa!

    b.
     
  6. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    Heat is the best part. The higher the heat the less clothing the women wear
     
  7. alexti

    alexti Strat-O-Master

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  8. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    there are cows in that video?
     
  9. bbarott

    bbarott Most Honored Senior Member

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    Ah, yes. I have to give 'em (Texans) the brag on the ladies anyway, not sure if they are in fact the finest being from Georgia an all but I will say Southern California has nothing on 'em.

    .. and that's how the fight is probably fixin' to start ..

    b.
     
  10. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    I moved here from ohio and well the texas ladies are better
     
  11. bhillnm

    bhillnm Strat-O-Master

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    You have to find those Texas women young, Texas has just about the highest obesity percentage in the country.
     
  12. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    ignore this post
     
  13. Krab

    Krab ----------------------

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    but I can't. Now it is gonna keep me up at night.
     
  14. jguitarnash

    jguitarnash Senior Stratmaster

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    EPIC POST! :D
     
  15. stratosky

    stratosky Strat-Talker

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    Love that kind of thread. It brings us our dose of laugh for the day. :D:D:D
     
  16. Laylas Daddy

    Laylas Daddy Banned

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    Funny Stuff!!! Thanks for Sharing!!!
     
  17. KRamone27

    KRamone27 Strat-Talker

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    Interesting tid bits.....

    This year we will experience 4 unusual dates... 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11...

    NOW go figure this one... take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age
    you will be this year......and it WILL EQUAL....... 111!
     
  18. rcole_sooner

    rcole_sooner Most Honored Senior Member

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    Yep, your age this year + the year your were born = this year. Works every time, and amazingly every year.