Bandmates backed out today

Discussion in 'Bands on the Run' started by diogoguitar, Nov 21, 2021.

  1. davidKOS

    davidKOS not posting these days

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    To paraphrase the old drum machine joke....

    The looping pedal is a perfect rhythm guitar player - it shows up late, rushes the tempo, gets drunk, tries to hit on your girlfriend, and borrows money it can't pay back.

    Seriously, I love the freedom of being a one-man band - I can play anything I want anyway I want.
     
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  2. Miotch

    Miotch Senior Stratmaster

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    ^^^^^ This.

    As we age, acquire debt, family and work responsibilities, it is just going to happen sometimes. I have played few gigs, other than church band, since my youngest was born. I've never missed a practice or a gig, whether when young or as an adult with kids, but there are a few times I honestly should have. I was lucky back when we gigged, because I knew some other quality drummers and bass players that could just listen to the set list and fill in adequately for the few times the bass/drummer developed a conflict. And we did it with one guitar once. Luckily, the singer never had to cancel or it would have cancelled the gig.
     
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  3. Thrup'ny Bit

    Thrup'ny Bit Grand Master Curmudgeon

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    We were a 7 piece band, with lots of time difficulties. So we had two drummers, two bass players, two fiddle players and three guitarists on call to sub as required.
     
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  4. bbarott

    bbarott Most Honored Senior Member

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    Bands are hard, because musicians by and large tend to be a flaky lot. And the truth is, bands are in fact a pretty big time commitment. Not everyone has that kind of time.
     
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  5. Caddy

    Caddy Strat-O-Master

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    After playing in rock & roll bands for nearly 20 years back in the late 50’s to early 70’s and then in a bluegrass band in the early 80’s I was burnt out. With the bluegrass band we practiced Tuesday through Thursday evenings and then performed in shows and festivals Friday evenings through Sunday afternoons. A lot of time besides working a full time job Monday through Friday.

    Once my youngest son was born I could no longer do that and had to give it up. I worked days M-F and his mother was an RN and worked evenings and most weekends. With a new baby no way to continue.

    In the early 90’s I began playing again solo with just an acoustic guitar. Free to play what I wanted to play (much of it my own originals). Didn’t have to arrange practices and could book gigs to fit mine and my wife’s schedules. Most times the places had a PA and microphone so all I had to take with me was an acoustic guitar (no plugging in required at all). One mic and my acoustic and I was set. Best thing I ever did and by far the most fun.

    So there is a great option to be able to perform with no one else to have to depend on or arrange with and not have to carry anything with you except one acoustic guitar. Maybe there is your answer.
     
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  6. bbarott

    bbarott Most Honored Senior Member

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    I'm guessing you used 'em too .... This is exactly what I would do if I could.
     
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  7. HazyPurple

    HazyPurple Without stress... my life would be empty Silver Member

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    Unless you offer free alcohol and/or drugs many will no show...
     
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  8. jrbirdman

    jrbirdman Senior Stratmaster Platinum Supporting Member Silver Member

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    I have found that a lot (most) of musicians are flakey...sorry, just the truth
     
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  9. davidKOS

    davidKOS not posting these days

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    Yup - it's hard to have WORKING band when folks just want to be flakey or just party on.
     
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  10. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    I haven't had a lot of flakes for rehearsals but, have had a lot of people bail from the project for multiple reasons.

    I'd get discouraged sometimes but, decided to keep trying. After about 4 years of this I have a solid line up.

    The moral of the story is, if I don't keep it going, no one else will. I just kept at it until the right people were in. I had to keep my frustration in check. I'd say I have some killer musicians now who are all as committed as I am. Four years is a long time but, if I had given up it would not have happened.
     
  11. gjohnson441496

    gjohnson441496 Senior Stratmaster

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    Terrible that happened. I had bandmates that weren't interested in practicing. I quit the band after we barely made it through a show.
     
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  12. HazyPurple

    HazyPurple Without stress... my life would be empty Silver Member

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    There a solution to the problem, perhaps?

    Screenshot_20211122-185032-346.png
     
  13. joe_cpwe

    joe_cpwe Senior Stratmaster

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    Joined an established band two years ago and acknowledge that even though every song we play isn't my favorite it's very good situation. Very competent musicians, rehearsals are fairly focused and ppl are prepared, no one has ever missed anything that wasn't planned. In other words, we've had a few subs. They even subbed a guitarist for me once when I had a conflict with my other band. Covid numbers, we get $1,500-2,500 a night.

    The other band is less committed, we gig less and rehearse less for a few reasons but no one has ever stood up the band. We rehearse at houses so no $ lost for renting a studio. This situation earns less and more of a scheduling hassle and although the guys are fun and the music is more fun it can be a drag with the mental overhead.

    As a younger man I was with an extremely serious group. We wrote/rehearsed 3x a week for 5yrs, made some great recordings and progress towards doing our own music. VERY tough to create that situation and even I probably wouldn't do it again given my age, kids, house, other interests, etc... That was a young man's game.

    I don't want to toot my own horn, I know some people on this forum could play me under the rug, but the better player you are and more committed you are will attract that in other people/bands. If you want to play with committed, quality musicians, become one.

    All of the junk around playing music with people is what burns people out. Playing music with the right people is amazing.
     
  14. diogoguitar

    diogoguitar Senior Stratmaster

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    lol, no wonder everyone showed up on the first appearance. It was a party with tons of booze and food
    I'll keep that in mind
     
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  15. StratUp

    StratUp Senior Stratmaster

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    Meh. Better than your date not showing up.
     
  16. HazyPurple

    HazyPurple Without stress... my life would be empty Silver Member

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    Yeah man, no stimulants no interest...

    That's rock'n'roll
     
  17. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    samuel-l-jackson-shocked.gif
     
  18. mohnjossey

    mohnjossey Strat-Talk Member

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    This post put a big smile on my face. Thanks for shining a little light onto a dark subject.
     
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  19. Geoff06

    Geoff06 Strat-Talker

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    As has been pointed out, if you're a dedicated, driven musician and really believe getting a group together is the right thing for you, don't give up and lose hope. Having to quit and turn down multiple paying music projects a few years ago because of my health was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to put a huge effort into physically staying alive and though I've come a long way, I'm still on-edge about a lot of things and I think I've lost a lot of the confidence I used to have when playing lead with other people.

    But I think that same stubborn-yet-patient, "fighting for the answer" approach to getting a band together or even keeping a band together can actually pay off. I know if I stop trying to become a working musician again, which is what I love doing more than anything else, I'll be mentally gone and lose a lot of my purpose. I have a very supportive wife, who loves me and loves music (regardless of how much I think out loud about music theory, guitar tone or cabinet construction), and that is a big part of what's kept me going. Discernment, drive, and likability are all major factors that I've found to be key for surrounding oneself with quality musicians, and musicians who are also friends.
     
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  20. Groundwire

    Groundwire Strat-Talker

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    Honestly, I would say that this isn’t just an issue with musicians these days. My experience is that people in general are less willing to commit than ever.

    “Would you like to come over for dinner Thursday?” “Oh that sounds like fun. Text me Thursday morning and I’ll let you know”

    “Do you want to go see this band on Saturday?” “That sounds it’d be a great show” “Um, is that a yes? No?”

    I could speculate about the cause of all this, but suffice to say that doing everything from our phones and computers makes it much easier to avoid the discomfort of having real conversations. I’m guessing the Pope that bailed did so by text or email. It’s a lot harder to call someone and tell them that you’re bailing last minute. Stuff happens, but generally, if you really care about something, and the other folks involved, you find a way to make it work.
    I’m married and have kids, so making plans takes getting babysitting, packing meals, etc. I got no time for flakiness.

    I’ve also reached the point where I just directly tell people “If you’re not serious, just let me know now. It’s okay. I won’t be upset, but if you’re in, then you’re in, and so am I”. I feel like setting clear expectations upfront is helpful.
     
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