Done with music.

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Seamus OReally, Jul 9, 2021.

  1. dvqc1

    dvqc1 Strat-Talk Member

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    Join the club because I'm right there with you. I moved from Washington to Missouri 2 years ago and have practically lost the will to live in general. I was writing and recording the whole time I was in Washington but have yet to find a recording studio worth going to in Missouri unless I want to drive a couple of hours to get to a decent one. I could say that life just got in the way but that would be a cop out and not really true because I have as much time or more here than in Washington. Truth is that all of the sudden music just didn't seem that important. I sold several of my guitars and the ones I kept just hang on the wall or on their stand. I went for a couple of months without playing a single note but finally picked up a guitar and played for a bit but only because I was getting a guitar ready to give to a family member. I'm sure I will go for several more months again without playing. Kind of sad really because I used to write and record often, I have probably 60-70 songs I need lyrics for and have around 100 I could record. It simply doesn't seem that important anymore.
     
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  2. Slartybartfast

    Slartybartfast Strat-Talker

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    I thought of bagging it when it occurred to me to maybe quit when the band I've been swapping members in for 20 years appears to be falling apart when I just got the right guys 4 years ago. I'm 60 and don't know if I have the energy to find another guy. Or somebody this good or likeable. And maybe just give up the playing. But I couldn't be who I am. Yes I do have trouble getting motivated to practice by myself I decided if that happened I would just walk off and join somebody else's band and retire mine. But I couldn't quit playing. Go join a band, is my suggestion.
     
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  3. pblanton

    pblanton Strat-Talker

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    While attending a pow-wow in Denver a couple of years ago, I bought a handmade cedar flute and I have quite a bit of fun with that. Recently I bought a couple of nice ocarinas and those are fun too.
     
  4. ThebiggestJerk

    ThebiggestJerk Senior Stratmaster

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    let it go for a few years and do something else.
     
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  5. 33db

    33db Senior Stratmaster

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    I probably already posted, but yeah same thing, for the first time in my life I had all the cash to buy great gear and now I haven't any interest in picking it up.

    I tell people my muse left me.
     
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  6. train

    train Worlds largest private army Silver Member

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    Yep same here, retired went thru some changes till I got readjusted—- gave up music , drinking,etc. bounced around and landed right back into music and boy if it isn’t a wonderful ,safe , easy laid back absolutely beautiful way to slip into the great unknown . Take a break , do not sell your gear. In my due diligence I noticed one thing that stood out .. and it’s name was boredom. I thank the powers that be for the strat- talk and everything related. Wait till you get old you will understand fully.
     
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  7. GeejeeZ

    GeejeeZ Strat-Talk Member

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    Although being 55 and still a few years away from retirement, I have been through periods like yours. The longest one lasted about ten years, from my 40 to 50.
    Looking back, things that made me start playing again: same as you, the unnerving idea of a car load of unfinished songs that I have laying around. What if there's a hit among them?!:p What also got my spirit back: buying/ assembling a new guitar!:whistling: In the process I had to do research (Youtube, Strat-talk) on how to do the building stuff, what parts were best and that got the curiosity flowing.
    Also important : try something new guitar wise. I started training finger picking. I still suck at it, but I am at least sure that I am far better at it than two years ago, and that gives a positive vibe!

    Don't be too hard on yourself, don't set your goals too high. Just starting out with playing guitar for ten minutes every day after dinner time and not having to like what you play would be a good start.

    Good luck man!
     
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  8. jbylake

    jbylake Fabulously Famous Nobody Silver Member

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    Because I had health issues, I was considered high risk. I rarely even went to the grocery store, just went to applebees, olive garden, other places that had food to go. A lot of fast food junk food through the drive thru.
    All of that isolation got me in to the habit of not practicing nearly enough as I should have been. Wasted a lot of time I could have been using to practice.
     
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  9. Seamus OReally

    Seamus OReally Mr. Serious Gold Supporting Member

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    I’ve got a new scheme this morning… sell the gear (except for the guitars, which I’ve promised to my grandsons) and my Civic and buy a Miata MX-5. Then I can enter a fourth phase of life as a flat-cap grandpa tooling around in a cool ragtop. :D
     
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  10. activeigroup

    activeigroup Strat-Talk Member

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    Back in 1997 (when I was 41) I owned my own recording studio, had been a studio player for the previous 15 years, (I was playing all the time). Then, I went through a really ****ty divorce, and lost all interest in music (and life in general... loll). I sold everything, moved to a different part of the country, and started over from scratch. I didn't even think about playing music for 20 years! (I didn't even walk into a music store during that period). Then in my 60's (while recovering from a nasty stroke) I picked it back up (as part of my physical therapy)! I've really enjoyed the journey of getting my chops back, and meeting with old friends and making new ones. Plus, I'm amused at the literally 1000's of the young Hard Rock players on Youtube! Trust me, you can get through this, because life situations always change. The only thing I can tell you is, try to hold on to your gear (don't get rid of it like I did... loll). Hang in There!
     
  11. marcostrumm

    marcostrumm Strat-Talk Member

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    so sorry my clubs are custom made!
     
  12. Matopotato

    Matopotato Strat-Talk Member

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    Touched by all the strong shared experiences.
    I am not retired yet, but I think "in this day and age" we identify ourselves very strongly with our work.
    So retirement might be tough to handle.
    If music was your work, maybe it is a natural reaction and your relation to it will change somehow. I really hope you can find your way back to the joy of playing again.
    I am just a hobbyist, so when I retire from telecom and teaching/consulting, music is hopefully not affected.

    Born -61 I grew up and had my teens in the 70's ( :thumb: ) and picked up guitar playing around-76. My best friend though "if he can, so should I " so we joined ranks and played together whenever the 200miles separating us was overcome.
    Years went by, families, work and stuff thinned out but never broke us. Playing went into hiatus gradually, when one day he suggested we should get some real guitars. Like really nice. So we made budgets and broke them bad. But the fun and joy came back. In spades. We also found Jamkazam that allow us to play over distance. (Can really recommend it. Also has a lot of open areas if you want to get to know new people and bands).
    And last December I completed my youth dream and went electric.
    So from hiatus to a bit too much in a short while.
    I also find forums like this really helpful.
    So take the time you need, from your post and replies it sounds as if you somewhere deep inside still have some embers glowing. And there are really nice advice in this thread, especially teaching kids music. They might think they know everything, but if they want to progress, they will recognize your experience and skill and absorb it. I am quite sure.
     
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  13. rojo-funk

    rojo-funk New Member!

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    There's no doubt this *could* be due to factors others have mentioned: psychological impacts of pandemic, retirement, etc...

    However, I've seen a number of friends have the same experience, including before the pandemic, and when they were not retired. I noticed strong similarities in each of their cases: they typically played the same things (or similar things) each time they picked up the guitar. They were either self-taught or had taken lessons with a teacher who had them imitate how the teacher played something ("gave them fish" rather than"taught them how to fish"), or learned by imitating something they saw on youtube. In their shoes, I would have been bored, just as they were. The entire thrill of finding chord voicings they'd never played before, creating new melodic lines, composing new music, figuring out new arrangements, playing a familiar piece differently every time - the entire element of discovery - was absent from their playing. They did not have the musical foundation to make that available to them. While my impression is that many guitar teachers do not teach in a way that creates this foundation and musical understanding, if you find the right one, they will. For what it's worth, I'm spending 35-40 hours a week working hard on music, have been a professional musician for 45 years, and I find it endlessly fascinating and discover new things every day.

    You write that you are "utterly bored with [your] own abilities." If you were happy with having stopped being a musician, I'd say that was fine - but, since you find it upsetting, I'm writing this note to suggest that it is possible to expand your musical knowledge and universe; what you feel are the limitations of your "abilities" might simply represent limitations that can be overcome.
     
  14. gitapik

    gitapik Strat-Talker Gold Supporting Member

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    Forgive if this has been said:

    I retired from teaching Special Ed kids, back on 1/2/2020. I had never expected the loss of identity that I ended up experiencing. And the colleagues/friends who I'd end up missing.

    Then the pandemic hit. 'Nuff said, there.

    I can honestly say that, except for a few isolated instances; the old "spark" hasn't been there like before. And I'm sure it's all about breaking decades long routines that I, for the most part, enjoyed. And fitting music into that routine was easy and extremely rewarding.

    I've endured long periods of missing the muse. She can be fickle. Sometimes due to injury. Sometimes just due to lack of inspiration. But I was brought up on technique, early on. There wasn't a lot of inspiration during my childhood. Just made sure I practiced, everyday. So when I actually did start understanding what music could really be about and then learned how elusive those periods of inspiration can be...I just kept practicing. Keep those hands and mind in shape for when the spark ignites again...which it always does. Then I'm ready for it.

    Don't know about you....but for me it's turning out to be about establishing new routines. I sleep later...but always either ride my bike/stretch and/or go to the gym everyday. Stay in shape. Then an hour or two of practice. On to getting something done around the house. Practice some more and maybe write or learn a new tune.

    Now that the pandemic seems to be subsiding, I'm going to form a band. Even if I'm not into it at the moment; I'll still plow through so that I'm ready for it when I am. Technique is important and much harder to regain, as we age. Better to maintain than be forced to regain, at this point.

    That's where I'm at with the changes. See where it goes from there.
     
  15. Stormy Monday

    Stormy Monday Blooze daddy Silver Member

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    Retirement is not easy. It took me about nine months to unravel my brain from the life I been living and working. Clarity started showing up after that. And we had been planning our retirement for ten years. So it'll be ok
     
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  16. Seamus OReally

    Seamus OReally Mr. Serious Gold Supporting Member

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    I don’t find it upsetting so much as just odd. Frankly, I’m kind of glad to be done with the pressure of self-employment. As for expanding my musical universe… I have tried and tried, but I seem to have risen to my level of incompetence. The information won’t stick, I can’t get the damn diminished scale inside my hands after 10 years of effort. I’m as good as I’m gonna get.
     
  17. Oiram

    Oiram Strat-Talk Member

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    I had a period like this between 26 and mid 30's. I suggest that you start playing a new instrument, something that you're completely unfamiliar with. And listen to a lot of Frank Zappa, or jazz improvs. None of that smooth jazz crap.
     
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  18. Seamus OReally

    Seamus OReally Mr. Serious Gold Supporting Member

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    I like smooth jazz!
     
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  19. gitapik

    gitapik Strat-Talker Gold Supporting Member

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    He said, "...smooth jazz crap". Much different than, "...smooth jazz".

    :)
     
  20. Jimbo99

    Jimbo99 Strat-Talk Member

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    It's good to have other hobbies, take a break from music. I can understand the piano, that monster probably takes up too much space. Anyway,the upside for playing an instrument, it keeps your mind nimble. There is going to be a rainy day when golf, tennis or pickleball is cancelled, that day you'll either watch tv or play an instrument, maybe just go online and browse the internet. But at least with music, you'll have another option. Cooking is another rainy day therapy as well, you get to eat what you make.
     
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