GAS!!!! How to handle it?

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Believer7713, Oct 28, 2020.

  1. Believer7713

    Believer7713 The Pink Bunnyman Frankenstein Silver Member

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    So I'm dealing with a bad case of GAS right now. I blame my wife really. She is the one that made Beanie-Weenies for dinner while I was watching the game on Sunday and then Cabbage and Cauliflower on Monday as a side for my Grilled chicken.
    What to do now? Should I embrace it and share it with my crew at work or should I buy something to alleviate it? either way I fear it's too late and all in close proximity are doomed...myself included.
     
  2. StratMike10

    StratMike10 Dr. Stratster Gold Supporting Member

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  3. Thrup'ny Bit

    Thrup'ny Bit Grand Master Curmudgeon

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  4. Stonetone

    Stonetone Senior Stratmaster

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  5. Believer7713

    Believer7713 The Pink Bunnyman Frankenstein Silver Member

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  6. soulman969

    soulman969 Senior Stratmaster

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    Go for it. It's dangerous not to.
     
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  7. Tone Deaf

    Tone Deaf Most Honored Senior Member

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    Pull my finger..
     
  8. integra evan

    integra evan Senior Stratmaster

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    Just say "its just my body being healthy"
     
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  9. Malurkey

    Malurkey Senior Stratmaster

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    Whizzpopping is only acceptable in very specific social surroundings. Blame it on the Frobscottle! ;)

    Can you buy some guitars? That usually alleviates GAS. :thumb:
     
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  10. henderman

    henderman Most Honored Senior Member

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    beans, beans, the magical fruit...
     
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  11. heltershelton

    heltershelton BANNED Silver Member

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    just let one rip then stare right in the eyes of the person closest to you.
    dont smile or frown or anything....just stare.
     
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  12. ukoldgit

    ukoldgit Most Honored Senior Member

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    You need a big plate of Bubble & Squeak (Toot & Fart) to build up the pressure:thumb:
    [​IMG]
     
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  13. JamieHenry

    JamieHenry Strat-Talker

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    Back when I was still working, I stumbled upon a foolproof way to assure myself of privacy when In the public poopers there. I stole one of those fart noise generators consisting of a wad of slime in a little can from a young niece. Have you seen them, you push the slime into the can, and as air trapped in the bottom squeezes out, it generates extremely disgusting noises. Wet, angry, rasping noises! Anyway, if you can get into the restroom when no one else is there, if you hear the door open, pump out a couple of said offensive offerings, and the intruder will spin on their heels and exit as rapidly as possible! Worked every time!
     
  14. joe_cpwe

    joe_cpwe Senior Stratmaster

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    gas
     
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  15. Chont

    Chont Most Honored Senior Member

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    Stand up, let it out, then sit down really fast and take it in.
     
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  16. guitarchaeologist

    guitarchaeologist Papa Americano Silver Member

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    It's a three step process:
    1) lift leg
    2) blow a$$
    3) blame dog/cat/wife/child/neighbor/passing car
     
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  17. Bob the builder

    Bob the builder Most Honored Senior Member

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    Just don't say you're gonna blow the place up....
    ...the cops might show up
     
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  18. Believer7713

    Believer7713 The Pink Bunnyman Frankenstein Silver Member

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    That would definitely be counter productive considering I work for the PD.:eek::rolleyes:
     
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  19. Stevn

    Stevn Strat-Talker

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    Change your handle to “Master Blaster”!!
     
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  20. Stevn

    Stevn Strat-Talker

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    You’re a dad aren’t you? That’s a dad line! Hahahaha
     
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