Guitars (or any musical instrument) and relationships

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by CalicoSkies, Jul 23, 2020.

  1. CalicoSkies

    CalicoSkies Most Honored Senior Member

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    This isn't meant to cause trouble (and if it does, the admins can delete it). This is intended for light-hearted discussion and food for thought.

    People sometimes joke about a guy's wife being mad that he wants to buy a new guitar, etc.. My wife sometimes does say she doesn't see why I'd want another guitar or keyboard, etc.. Is this really common? Do spouses really not like it when their spouse likes to play music? Or is it mostly about being annoyed listening to someone else's music or their playing, like having to listen to a loud neighbor?

    I wonder how common it is for someone to have a spouse who also likes music and appreciates wanting to look at musical instruments. But everyone has their own hobbies and interests.
     
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  2. Nick-O

    Nick-O Senior Stratmaster

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    My wife used to get irritated if I bought them, raved about them, then sold them. After a while it looked pretty futile...cause it is/was in that case.
     
  3. Hanson

    Hanson Strat-O-Master

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    I pretty much sell, buy and trade from the gear that I already have these days. If I was to make another large purchase outside of that, my wife would be annoyed.

    She feels I have plenty of guitars and she feels that guitar is a waist of time.
     
  4. TepidPilot

    TepidPilot Strat-Talker

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    No matter how lousy I play my wife always tells me how good it sounds. I'm not big on buying more guitars, especially since I can only play one at a time so that's never an issue.

    TP
     
  5. 33db

    33db Senior Stratmaster

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    I can always earn a few extra bucks or sell something and get what I want, having someone in my life more worried about money than me was a good thing... I almost never succumbed to GAS.

    Once I was single I kind of went nuts buying stuff...
     
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  6. Bowmap

    Bowmap I nose a thang or two Gold Member

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    'What? More guitar stuff?' I just nod softly, scoop up the package and head upstairs to my parts bin. She spends $200 a month on getting her hair done, I spend maybe $25. I gotta make up the difference somewhere.
     
  7. Paperback Rocker

    Paperback Rocker Do it. Strat-Talk Supporter

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    My ex-wife loved that I was in a band in the beginning. In the end, it might as well have been another mistress.

    I spent a lot of money on gear and such, but she never really gave me a hard time about it. She got paid back when we sold the house.

    Now I do what I want.
     
  8. Philo426

    Philo426 Senior Stratmaster

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    Yep they ***** all of the time!can't understand why I "need" another guitar.Tried to explain but she didn't get it!
     
  9. Stratoman10

    Stratoman10 Dr. Stratster Strat-Talk Supporter

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    A friend of mine made her boyfriend, now husband pick between her or guitar. They were really young at the time, like 16 I think and she didnt like the competition or something. But they're 60 now so I guess it worked out

    Personally, I think I probably would have told her to take a hike
     
  10. blasphemoustrat

    blasphemoustrat Most Honored Senior Member

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    My wife is not a huge fan. she does let me hang five guitars on the walls in the living room as decoration so there's that. And she doesn't really mind if I buy and sell. I've done well enough through the years that I'm definitely way ahead on the gear front and money so she doesn't really question. but she definitely was never a fan of the band or me choosing to go do that instead of be home. Cuz you know six nights a week isn't enough.
     
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  11. strat_strummer

    strat_strummer Most Honored Senior Member

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    My wife "second wife" is more supportive than you can imagine. She loves the fact I buy guitars, RC cars/trucks/planes, guns, and anything I am involved in.
    She knew what I went through as a single father for so many years and what I have sacrificed. She always tells me its my turn. So if I want something I buy it, when we can afford it.
     
  12. dante1963

    dante1963 Senior Stratmaster

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    I’m pretty lucky. My GF wants me to be happy. She knows music and gear does that for me.

    It took her a little while to get that all guitars sound different, even similar models, but she does now.

    What’s funny is that a year ago, we took a quick vacation in Colorado. We were in Aspen for a few hours on the Fourth of July.

    Walking around, I saw that there was a D’angelico shop. I went in, and it was beautiful. Like a high-end jewelry store, but just D’angelico guitars. I was standing in front of a lovely semi-hollow and the salesman was giving me quite a pitch. 10% off, no sales tax and free shipping.

    My GF said, “That’s really pretty. You should buy it.” I said, “It’s like, $1500.” She said “Yeah, but it would always remind you of Aspen.”

    If it wasn’t for the fact that I’d already had the most expensive gear year ever, I would have bought it.

    So, not all significant others try to keep you from the things you love.

    Some are pretty cool.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
  13. myredstrat

    myredstrat Strat-O-Master

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    mine feels I'm a waste of time too.
    she resents that she can't control every F'#@in aspect of my life. I could go on and on, but I won't.
    so I live vicariously through others on this board. :(
    yes you hit a nerve with me.:thumbd:
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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  14. Seamus OReally

    Seamus OReally Senior Stratmaster Silver Member

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    My wife got irritated when I sold gear. It’s a long story, but she reacts that way because she loves me. Now that I’m down to essentials, I don’t expect it to be an issue anymore.
     
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  15. mapleglo

    mapleglo Senior Stratmaster

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    My husband supports my interest in music, and is always at every gig I play. He's glad I stopped buying more guitars, basses, and keyboards though...
     
  16. abnormaltoy

    abnormaltoy Mouth draggin' knuckle breather Strat-Talk Supporter

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    It was :)
     
  17. Triple Jim

    Triple Jim Most Honored Senior Member

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    Mine hangs out if we have a good jam with friends playing and singing and watching, but otherwise isn't terribly interested in hearing me practice. She never gives me a hard time about buying guitars and gear, and I don't buy stuff unless it makes sense to me. Like I don't have six very similar guitars of different colors, for example, or three $1500.00 amps.

    We both run prospective purchases past each other if it's for something over a hundred or two bucks, mainly out of respect.
     
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  18. soulman969

    soulman969 Strat-O-Master

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    I could just post "ditto" and save wear and tear on my keyboard. All I can add is that the situation changed drastically from start to finish.

    During my first marriage I quit playing for several years and sold gear that today would be worth a small fortune. None of that saved my marriage so I decided I would not go down that same road again.

    I was in and out of several bands during the premarital phase and during my 2nd marriage and always took care not to spend the "house money" on gear. I made good money playing music on weekends and it paid for the gear. The "house money" came from my work and when she worked her money was 99% hers to spend as she saw fit.

    The problems came once she quit working after our second daughter was born. Then it was much like Paperback Rocker. The band became competition for my time so as best I could I gave most of what I made to her as her spending money and to pay for her summer trip back to see her family. And it was no small amount.

    When I finally upgraded gear that I'd been playing on for over ten years the friction began so I decided to take a break from playing to spend more time with the family. That worked so well she filed for divorce about a year later. As usual she got the gold mine and I got the shaft but I kept my gear and started gigging again.

    That was over 20 years ago and all I can say is I much prefer owning guitars and basses to having a wife and simply "renting" relationships. :D
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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  19. longboard blues

    longboard blues Senior Stratmaster

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    mine is supportive - we both earn good money, so we're trying to pay the house off asap. We each divert a few hundred each month into a personal account - and are free to do waht we want with it. For her, it's more a question of space - so i've committed to one-in-one-out, but that's my decision, not her pushing it. She's a good'un.
     
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  20. abnormaltoy

    abnormaltoy Mouth draggin' knuckle breather Strat-Talk Supporter

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    I always felt the guitar was going to be there long after any GF was gone.

    I found the guitar doesn't mind when I don't want to "share" how my day was...sometimes I just have nothing to say.

    Guitars aren't opposed to being kept in their case under the bed for a few weeks...I'm just saying.

    When I got married and my daughter was born, I put guitars out of my life...then it became clear my wife and I would be parting ways in one fashion or another, I got back into guitars.


    Admittedly, I was (am/probably always will be) better at being a male friend, than a husband or boyfriend.