After reading your poem I think that If you are adverse to taking meds there is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's not so much what you think, but how you react to those thoughts. Your poem is full of conflicting loops of positive and negative, self doubt and belief and the inability to change. You can break this viscous cycle by understanding the reason you are there and then to take steps to change your perceived cognitive reality.
Conflicting loops of positive and negative is correct, I usually think of it as logic vs emotion.
Understanding the reason I'm here? I'm pretty sure I'm here for global domination, I gots plans! Still working the bugs out though.