Nice Going, Amazon.

archetype

Fiend of Leo's
Silver Member
Nov 26, 2016
4,367
Western NY, USA
So I ordered some parts from Amazon. Nothing spectacular, just some jack plates and other related hardware for an amp head and cab project I'm working on. But I did it in secret because I didn't want my wife to see that I was ordering more guitar related stuff since I told her I was cutting back on indulging my hobbies amidst other financial obligations. To be fair, I only told her I wouldn't buy any more guitars. But anyways, I ordered it on Amazon last night and it said it was expected to ship in 3 to 4 days. I even put the shipping address as my mom's place so she wouldn't see an Amazon package arriving for me. Well early this morning I get a notification on my phone from Amazon that my package has shipped and she saw it before I did. Nice going, Amazon. 🙄

Help me understand what you think the problem is, 'cause you're not owning up to owning the problem:

- You willfully tried to hide the whole transaction in a complicated subterfuge that you thought up and executed.
- Amazon beat their estimate and shipped earlier than expected. Damned Amazon.
- Your Amazon account is configured to send shipping notifications to your phone. Damned Amazon.
- You got caught not adhering to the spirit of your promise to your wife.
- You lied. You can't claim a semantic 'out' with the way you stated the promise. You hid things because you were lying.

What am I missing, here?
 

Robonarc

Strat-O-Master
Jan 24, 2022
723
Canada
There's no problem. She really doesn't care. She spends more on clothes and makeup than I do on gear. I just think it's funny that almost immediately after I ordered it they sent a notification that it had shipped. Especially when when they estimated 3 to 4 days. Could just as easily have happened when I was ordering a gift for her. Cuz sometimes I do have stuff for her at Christmas shipped to my mom's.
 

3bolt79

Dr. Stratster
Oct 16, 2018
14,944
Oregon
Nice. I am going to get another Marshall 4x12 cab to complete my dream of having a full stack. No way to hide that when it arrives.

My wife will be like “Did you order a new washing machine?”
 
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Guithartic

Senior Stratmaster
Jan 10, 2021
1,934
Jacksonville, FL
I think we buy guitars/gear and then hide the fact from our wives because:

1. We know they are probably right. We don’t really need that next guitar or gear. We probably could use the money on something more practical.

2. The amount of enjoyment we get is worth the money to us.

3. We don’t want her too be mad at us.

4. It’s not really that bad. Not a deal breaker. Not like cheating or stealing her money or something. If she did find out, she might be a little miffed or use it to justify buying an LV purse that we don’t think is worth the money, but not so bad to cause a split.

Combine those four elements, and you’ve got a guy with a couple extra guitars in cases that she thinks are empty. Or a guy who buys similarly finished guitars, so she doesn’t notice the new one, etc.
 

archetype

Fiend of Leo's
Silver Member
Nov 26, 2016
4,367
Western NY, USA
I think we buy guitars/gear and then hide the fact from our wives because:

1. We know they are probably right. We don’t really need that next guitar or gear. We probably could use the money on something more practical.

2. The amount of enjoyment we get is worth the money to us.

3. We don’t want her too be mad at us.

4. It’s not really that bad. Not a deal breaker. Not like cheating or stealing her money or something. If she did find out, she might be a little miffed or use it to justify buying an LV purse that we don’t think is worth the money, but not so bad to cause a split.

Combine those four elements, and you’ve got a guy with a couple extra guitars in cases that she thinks are empty. Or a guy who buys similarly finished guitars, so she doesn’t notice the new one, etc.

IMO and not directed toward you.

I don't understand having a relationship where's there's dishonesty and trickery. How is that an appropriate ingredient for something strong and beneficial?

The degree of dishonesty and trickery isn't a factor. Lies aren't sold by size or weight, they're just lies and sold by quantity. How many lies does your relationship want? Some relationships seem to have a lie subscription. In many cases, one person decides they don't want to autorenew.

IMO figuring out the tolerances and limits of "not so bad to cause a split" is a lousy way to live.
 
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Guithartic

Senior Stratmaster
Jan 10, 2021
1,934
Jacksonville, FL
IMO and not directed toward you.

I don't understand having a relationship where's there's dishonesty and trickery. How is that an appropriate ingredient for something strong and beneficial?

The degree of dishonesty and trickery isn't a factor. Lies aren't sold by size or weight, they're just lies and sold by quantity. How many lies does your relationship want? Some relationships seem to have a lie subscription. In many cases, one person decides they don't want to autorenew.

IMO figuring out the tolerances and limits of "not so bad to cause a split" is a lousy way to live.
It’s probably not the best policy. But, it doesn’t seem so black and white to me. It seems like a matter of degree with some situations worse than others. A flat out, “I didn’t buy anything,” when the guitar is hidden in the trunk seems a lot worse than the guy who brings the guitar home and hangs it up without mentioning it, because he’s a little embarrassed that he spent a bunch of money on another one, and she really wouldn’t care much anyway. And if the wife says, “Is that one new?” he says, “Ya, It’s a great guitar. I might sell one of the others.” That seems less lousy. Another variable is probably the wife. If you have a wife you love in every other way, and she says “You can only have 3 guitars.” You have the option of sticking to 3 and living with it, getting more and having her upset at you, or getting more and fibbing. I’ve never been in that situation. Mine is more like the other situation I mentioned. I don’t lie, but I try to not advertise it when I get a new one.
 
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3bolt79

Dr. Stratster
Oct 16, 2018
14,944
Oregon
I am so lucky that my wife doesn’t try to control me in any way. She lets me be the King. The only time I lie to her is when I am trying to keep a gift secret, and then when she gets the gift, she’s like “ Now I see what you were up to”. She caught the last one though.

She never checks the mail, but on the day her gift arrived she checked the mail. She didn’t open it, as it was addressed to me, but when I got home she’s like “What did you get?” So I told her to open it. She was really happy and surprised when she found the string of pearls.
 

dirocyn

Most Honored Senior Member
Jan 20, 2018
7,031
Murfreesboro, TN
If you have a wife you love in every other way, and she says “You can only have 3 guitars.” You have the option of sticking to 3 and living with it, getting more and having her upset at you, or getting more and fibbing.

Now you've gone and set her up as the unreasonable one. Why would she set arbitrary rules, like she's the master and you're the slave? Doesn't she respect you? A grown man doesn't simply allow silly rules to be set, and then break them and lie about it. That's child behavior. No. Adults who respect each other don’t make rules like that for each other. Instead, they will talk it through, and jointly agree about what they are doing, and stick to their word. Maybe you talk again when you learn new things, and come to a new understanding.

"Where are you going to keep it" is always a reasonable question. She shares the space. If you live in a Winnebago maybe you don't have room for a fourth guitar. In a large house maybe you still don't have room for a sixteenth guitar. "How are you paying for it" is also perfectly reasonable. When you are partners the money belongs to both of you.
 

Guithartic

Senior Stratmaster
Jan 10, 2021
1,934
Jacksonville, FL
Now you've gone and set her up as the unreasonable one. Why would she set arbitrary rules, like she's the master and you're the slave? Doesn't she respect you? A grown man doesn't simply allow silly rules to be set, and then break them and lie about it. That's child behavior. No. Adults who respect each other don’t make rules like that for each other. Instead, they will talk it through, and jointly agree about what they are doing, and stick to their word. Maybe you talk again when you learn new things, and come to a new understanding.

"Where are you going to keep it" is always a reasonable question. She shares the space. If you live in a Winnebago maybe you don't have room for a fourth guitar. In a large house maybe you still don't have room for a sixteenth guitar. "How are you paying for it" is also perfectly reasonable. When you are partners the money belongs to both of you.
Part of me says, “Yep, he’s right.” And, the cynical part of me says, “That sounds like a lofty way of describing option 1, where she says, ‘Only 3,’ and he sticks to 3.” But probably “Yep, he’s right” is better.
 


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