Nightmares, but sad instead of scary

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
Anyone have these? It's rare for me, but I just did. I dreamt that my ex was trying to come over and I sent her away, which wasn't the sad part. After I sent her away, this girl I had a thing for when I was 14 (14 years ago) showed up and we were talking like we used to. Long story short, she rejected me when we were 14, it was embarrassing, but when we were 18 we almost dated. I ended up rejecting her for revenge or something. Stupid, looking back. But I was fat at 14 and fit at 18 and I guess I felt that she only wanted to be with me because of my looks and not because of me. These days I realize looks are about as important as personality.
ANYWAY, in the next part of the dream, I'm talking to my old roommate/friend, who is actually her cousin. I'm telling him I regret not dating her. So he opens up his laptop, it was an old chunky one from the early 2000s. That isn't important, just a funny dream thing. And he shows me a music video, and she's playing in a band and becoming famous. I turn to my friend to talk to him and he's gone and the room starts flooding. I jerked awake. So weird. I ended up waking up feeling kind of sad, which is also weird.
 

Black59

Strat-O-Master
Sep 25, 2020
860
Canada
@Chuck8436

Yeah I get these more often than not and I'm the same age as you. Lots of these should've, could've, would've dreams.

I think it's natural to feel a little sad because in the moment they feel pretty real.
 

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
@Chuck8436

Yeah I get these more often than not and I'm the same age as you. Lots of these should've, could've, would've dreams.

I think it's natural to feel a little sad because in the moment they feel pretty real.
Yeah. I haven't thought about her in years though. And I had never felt regret about what happened. Sometimes I wonder if dreams have a deeper meaning, or if it's just random.
 

Black59

Strat-O-Master
Sep 25, 2020
860
Canada
Yeah. I haven't thought about her in years though. And I had never felt regret about what happened. Sometimes I wonder if dreams have a deeper meaning, or if it's just random.

Ohh gotcha. That's interesting then, maybe your brained re-traced itself back to the memory when you were 14 and that's where the feeling comes from?
 

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
Ohh gotcha. That's interesting then, maybe your brained re-traced itself back to the memory when you were 14 and that's where the feeling comes from?
Possibly. We were both 28 in the dream though. It got me thinking about the last time I saw her too. I was kind of mean. I never really have reflected on that.
 

thomquietwolf

Dr. Stratster
Gold Supporting Member
Silver Member
Dec 2, 2010
19,940
Peardale CA
Anyone have these? It's rare for me, but I just did. I dreamt that my ex was trying to come over and I sent her away, which wasn't the sad part. After I sent her away, this girl I had a thing for when I was 14 (14 years ago) showed up and we were talking like we used to. Long story short, she rejected me when we were 14, it was embarrassing, but when we were 18 we almost dated. I ended up rejecting her for revenge or something. Stupid, looking back. But I was fat at 14 and fit at 18 and I guess I felt that she only wanted to be with me because of my looks and not because of me. These days I realize looks are about as important as personality.
ANYWAY, in the next part of the dream, I'm talking to my old roommate/friend, who is actually her cousin. I'm telling him I regret not dating her. So he opens up his laptop, it was an old chunky one from the early 2000s. That isn't important, just a funny dream thing. And he shows me a music video, and she's playing in a band and becoming famous. I turn to my friend to talk to him and he's gone and the room starts flooding. I jerked awake. So weird. I ended up waking up feeling kind of sad, which is also weird.

People talk in your dreams??
 

StratSounds

Senior Stratmaster
Sep 10, 2016
3,518
Rocky Mountain Way
Sometimes a person will make an appearance in one of my dreams whom I haven’t thought about in years or maybe had even almost forgotten entirely because they didn’t play any significant role in my life other than an acquaintance or classmate years ago. I think it’s because all of those memories reside in your brain and sometimes while dreaming a synapse fires and they just suddenly make an appearance. It’s bizarre and fascinating how the brain stores that information and will randomly access it sometimes during a dream. I’m not saying dreams don’t mean anything because I’ve had some that made me wonder, but I think they’re mostly either random or caused by something you’ve experienced in your life.

I very much think dreams can be related to one’s overall current mood and recent, or past, life experiences. After a traumatic event, like my father dying of cancer a few years ago, I had what I call panic dreams, but you could easily call them nightmares. No matter the scenario, I couldn’t find my way out of a place, or I couldn’t find something I was desperately looking for, or I couldn’t seem to get somewhere that I needed to go. I’d wake up feeling a bit panicked. I think those dreams were absolutely related to having a traumatic personal experience that was completely beyond my control. I had dreams like that for at least six months afterwards.
 

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
Sometimes a person will make an appearance in one of my dreams whom I haven’t thought about in years or maybe had even almost forgotten entirely because they didn’t play any significant role in my life other than an acquaintance or classmate years ago. I think it’s because all of those memories reside in your brain and sometimes while dreaming a synapse fires and they just suddenly make an appearance. It’s bizarre and fascinating how the brain stores that information and will randomly access it sometimes during a dream. I’m not saying dreams don’t mean anything because I’ve had some that made me wonder, but I think they’re mostly either random or caused by something you’ve experienced in your life.

I very much think dreams can be related to one’s overall current mood and recent, or past, life experiences. After a traumatic event, like my father dying of cancer a few years ago, I had what I call panic dreams, but you could easily call them nightmares. No matter the scenario, I couldn’t find my way out of a place, or I couldn’t find something I was desperately looking for, or I couldn’t seem to get somewhere that I needed to go. I’d wake up feeling a bit panicked. I think those dreams were absolutely related to having a traumatic personal experience that was completely beyond my control. I had dreams like that for at least six months afterwards.
I had a strange dream like that after my uncle died about 9 years ago. Not much is going on in my life currently other than school and soon I'll be working on campus.
 

StratMike10

Dr. Stratster
Silver Member
Apr 8, 2010
12,286
Florida
I don't have nightmares or anything terrifying, but whenever I dream it's rarely pleasant. I really dislike having this other life where I'm at the mercy of my imagination's underbelly, where nothing is predictable, and everything is pointless.
 

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
I don't have nightmares or anything terrifying, but whenever I dream it's rarely pleasant. I really dislike having this other life where I'm at the mercy of my imagination's underbelly, where nothing is predictable, and everything is pointless.
I know what you mean, but I like that I dream. Sure, I woke up feeling lousy, but I'm still glad I had the dream I had. I guess it allows me to step back and reflect a little bit more.
 

Stonetone

Most Honored Senior Member
Dec 17, 2019
6,710
Mean Streets
I sometimes think that dreams are a portal to another reality/universe since most of my reoccuring dreams are always constantly similar, but as far as the landscape is but its totally different than my reality, some people are the same others are not, streets buildings roads are mostly always different, Sometimes in my dreams i remember My girlfriend all of a sudden and that i have no way to contact her but i recall that we are are together and i should be with her and in my dreamscape I can't understand where my girlfriend has been and why i am just remembering that we should be together
Hence why i think dreams are alternate reality :eek:
 

Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
I sometimes think that dreams are a portal to another reality/universe since most of my reoccuring dreams are always constantly similar, but as far as the landscape is but its totally different than my reality, some people are the same others are not, streets buildings roads are mostly always different, Sometimes in my dreams i remember My girlfriend all of a sudden and that i have no way to contact her but i recall that we are are together and i should be with her and in my dreamscape I can't understand where my girlfriend has been and why i am just remembering that we should be together
Hence why i think dreams are alternate reality :eek:
My dreams all seem to take place in the same "city". Similar to where I'm from, but different. When I drive around in my dreams, I usually know where I'm going. But when I start becoming lucid, I realize that the roads aren't the same as they are in reality and I'll start to panic. Ha
 

StratMike10

Dr. Stratster
Silver Member
Apr 8, 2010
12,286
Florida
I know what you mean, but I like that I dream. Sure, I woke up feeling lousy, but I'm still glad I had the dream I had. I guess it allows me to step back and reflect a little bit more.

I just can't get past the incoherence of it all. Some people feel there is a message there or something to be learned, but if that's the case, it's going 100% over my head. The wake world is like a puzzle, if you look carefully enough and use your head, you can put some of the pieces together and get a bigger picture... but in the dream world none of the pieces match.
 
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Chuck8436

Senior Stratmaster
May 12, 2017
2,778
Texas
I just can't get past the incoherence of it all. Some people feel there is a message there or something to be learned, but if that's the case, it's going 100% over my head. The wake world if like a puzzle, if you look carefully enough and use your head, you can put some of the pieces together and get a bigger picture... but in the dream world none of the pieces match.
Oh, I'm totally lost when it comes to this dream I just had. Lol. But I did wake up thinking about that girl and I never really felt any kind of negative feelings about what I did. I always thought what I did to her was justified, but it really wasn't fair of me. Plus around that time is when I started dating my ex, who I was with for 9 years and it ended badly. I can't help but wonder how things may have turned out if I had chosen to be with the girl I dreamed about. No point in dwelling on that though.
 

StratMike10

Dr. Stratster
Silver Member
Apr 8, 2010
12,286
Florida
I have to admit that when it comes to dreaming about girls, the very few and far in between when the situation makes it into third base, those were nice. But I'm an old guy now, those haven't happened in a very long time.
 

nickmsmith

Dr. Stratster
Jul 28, 2011
14,073
USA
I just can't get past the incoherence of it all. Some people feel there is a message there or something to be learned, but if that's the case, it's going 100% over my head. The wake world is like a puzzle, if you look carefully enough and use your head, you can put some of the pieces together and get a bigger picture... but in the dream world none of the pieces match.

I think it’s just your brain making its own reality, since it doesn’t have any stimulation from the other senses, but why we dream is definitely puzzling.

Some people say that nightmares are a defense mechanism, to train our brain for when/if trouble arrives.. so we’ll have some subconscious preparation.

But dreaming is not only a human thing, so I have no idea why/how. Clearly our brain has the ability to make a whole reality based on nothing but memories and imagination, which is cool.

I have had lucid dreaming before, where you can consciously manipulate your dream, if you can make yourself aware while sleeping. It never lasted long, once I became aware.
 


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