Not for nothing but.....

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Heavyriff, Sep 22, 2021.

  1. Heavyriff

    Heavyriff Senior Stratmaster

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    I reached out about a month ago that I was taking custody of my wifes daughters kid and it has been nothing but a disaster since. I could use some positive encouragement..
     
  2. Baelzebub

    Baelzebub Dr. Stratster

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    Sorry to hear that you're paying a heavy price for doing the right thing.

    I remember the original post but don't recall the exact circumstances. There area any number of ways a situation like that can go south, it's hard to know what to say, but hang in there and keep the best interests of the kid first and foremost in everything you do.
     
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  3. ido1957

    ido1957 Senior Stratmaster

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    Life is hard - imagine how hard it is and will be for the child. Good luck in your endeavours and kudos for helping out.
     
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  4. Stratafied

    Stratafied Most Honored Senior Member

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    That’s a tough one.
     
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  5. Antstrat

    Antstrat Most Honored Senior Member

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    Situations like that are always a nightmare but you are doing the right thing.
     
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  6. Bob the builder

    Bob the builder Most Honored Senior Member

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    You're giving the boy a better life than what he had or what he was facing
    It ain't gonna be easy but you're definitely doing the right thing
    Keep up the good fight
     
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  7. cranky

    cranky Senior Stratmaster

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    Play the long game.

    Use your village and all your resources. Keep the kid involved in activities and do what you can to surround him with positive people.
     
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  8. 3bolt79

    3bolt79 Dr. Stratster

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    I understand the types of problems you are facing. I’ve been there. I got custody of my son, from his mother, when he was 5. I went through a lot of expense and heartache for over a year trying to get custody from her.

    Basically a woman can do no wrong wrong enough to lose her kid. But my ex was so bad that I got him, which says how bad for my son she was.

    Keep fighting the good fight. If the kid is in your custody, the kid’s mother must be a real POS. Good luck to you, and God bless you and yours.
     
  9. JB74

    JB74 Senior Stratmaster

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    My neighbour up the road is in a similar situation - except his Son and partner are both in gaol for addiction issues (heroin and associated crimes, some serious) So He's grandpa, and was literally a week into retirement when it happened.

    Custody of. FIVE kids under 7 years age

    He says, better to keep them under one roof than let them be split up and fostered.

    I get his compassion, but it's one hell of a commitment.

    I understand how you feel and why you are doing this. Let the kid know it's a clear choice...

    Honesty and tough love are difficult, but necessary.

    Don't regret the tough love when it's needed but make sure you are completely transparent - even at their young age.
     
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  10. fattboyzz

    fattboyzz Senior Stratmaster

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    Not the same situation, but I thank God for the man I call my son in law. He stepped up like a man to be daddy to our only grandbaby at the time .
     
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  11. Lonn

    Lonn Mod Admin Staff Member

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    Whatever crap storm you have to go through just remember it’s for the kid. Always always always for the kid.
     
  12. train

    train Worlds largest private army Silver Member

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    You are a wonderful and generous man . You will be rewarded. Startups are a tough time . Concentrate on the future . Five days , a month, yr, 5 yr. 10 yr. when the mind is stressed the thought process move into the amygdala center . Flight , fight, freeze. Get it back to the frontal where under happiness abounds by thinking , what will be like in 5, 10, etc. anyway that’s what the mind researchers advise. Being a front line guy most of my life. It works. Most of the time.
     
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  13. telepraise

    telepraise Strat-O-Master

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    Sorry to hear this Heavyriff. Sounds like it's been tough on you. That kid is really lucky you stepped up and, down the road, I'm guessing your life will be richer for your efforts.

    This is more common than a lot of people realize. For the last decade of my elementary teaching career, I averaged 2-3 kids (out of 18) being raised by grandparents. Invariably, their mothers were drug addicts and/or incarcerated. Another 1-2 kids were in the midst of the divorce shredder.

    Tough times for a lot of little people. The important thing to remember is that you're doing the best that you can for this kid and giving them the consistency, structure, and support they need. Their life would most certainly be much worse without you. Blessings to you, stay strong!
     
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  14. Sarnodude

    Sarnodude Most Honored Senior Member

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    It warms my heart that you guys will fight so hard for these precious children.
     
  15. MT Poteet

    MT Poteet Strat-Talk Member

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    I don't know what you're going through but......hang in there.
     
  16. tery

    tery Dr. Stratster

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    God bless you .
     
  17. StratUp

    StratUp Senior Stratmaster

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    You're doing the right thing. Make the kid the priority. Do everything you can for the kid. You can make a big difference for the better in someone's life now.
     
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