Punchlines Only

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Baelzebub, Aug 21, 2021.

  1. KillingTone

    KillingTone Strat-O-Master

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    “He only takes tips!”
     
  2. dirocyn

    dirocyn Most Honored Senior Member

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    That dog would bite you!
     
  3. nosmo

    nosmo Strat-Talker

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    "Shoot the dog! Shoot the dog!"

    "No....he's left-handed."

    "I didn't say it twice, that was an echo."

    "Well, ya don't expect a one-legged bloke to chase himself down a kangaroo, now do you?" (With apologies to our friends in Oz.)

    "Oh, I'm sorry....are you WHALES from Scotland?" (With apologies to our friends in the UK.)

    "Forty pounds of lutefisk!" (With apologies to our friends in the Scandinavian countries.)

    "That's nuthin', you should see how he makes doughnuts!" (With apologies to almost everyone.)

    What's really sad is, I know the lead-ins to almost all of the ones posted, and most of the other punch-lines I know would get me permanently banned.
     
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  4. rocknrollrich

    rocknrollrich Most Honored Senior Member

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    " No, but if you hum a few bars of it..."
     
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  5. Baelzebub

    Baelzebub Dr. Stratster

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    "Because this is a hardware store."
     
  6. Baelzebub

    Baelzebub Dr. Stratster

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    I know them for the first two at least and they're excellent!
     
  7. rolandson

    rolandson Dr. Stratster

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    But ya fu*k one goat...
     
  8. ThebiggestJerk

    ThebiggestJerk Senior Stratmaster

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    “1 or 2, 1 oooor 2”.
     
  9. LordOfPudding

    LordOfPudding Strat-Talker

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    "No, because I'm trying to give you a physical".
     
  10. Ps37

    Ps37 Strat-Talk Member

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    "In-a-mah-tah-ko-tah-bay."

     
  11. vid1900

    vid1900 Most Honored Senior Member

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    "....that's a knife."
     
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  12. uncle daddy

    uncle daddy Strat-O-Master

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    "Got any bread?"
     
  13. Esg877

    Esg877 Strat-Talker

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    "They had a gun pointed at our heads five minutes ago, and now you wanna have dinner?! How are you not scared!?"

    "I was scared whe he pointed the gun at us. I'm not scared now. How long do want me to be scared for?"
     
  14. vid1900

    vid1900 Most Honored Senior Member

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    "....used wine."
     
  15. pazman6

    pazman6 Senior Stratmaster

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    "And that's just the first guy"
     
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  16. pazman6

    pazman6 Senior Stratmaster

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    "What--- You really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
     
  17. WelhavenT

    WelhavenT Strat-O-Master

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    «Nei, men jeg synes jeg dro kjensel på han med bollekinn og sigar».
     
  18. Strums

    Strums Strat-O-Master

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    "Well, I like to fish and she has worms."
     
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  19. ThreeChordWonder

    ThreeChordWonder Senior Stratmaster

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    Do you really think I asked for a ten-inch PIANIST???
     
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  20. ThreeChordWonder

    ThreeChordWonder Senior Stratmaster

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    A whopper with cheese.
     
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