Relationships

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by CalicoSkies, Apr 12, 2021.

  1. mjea80

    mjea80 Lost In The Light Silver Member

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    Hey @CalicoSkies.

    What about for the time being get back on the dating apps and find a couple new women to talk to, you’ll soon forget about her.

    Use this as a learning experience, in that maybe you expressed your feelings too soon for her.

    Moving forward don’t tell women how you feel, show them. Keep them guessing, and if things work out, they will and if not just keep on truckin’.

    There is a lot of truth to The Beatles song “You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away”. Or atleast until you’re almost certain it can be said.
     
  2. Baelzebub

    Baelzebub Dr. Stratster

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    Well..maybe your therapist can help you work through that. Because I see the explanation a being, you told her what you wanted...she said she couldn't give it to your...couple weeks later, you get together, there's no tension, easy and fun...

    If she enjoys your company, she's probably hoping things will change a bit too...as you say,she said you had feelimgs.

    And then you pounced on her to do it again the very next day.... If you made a "mistake" it was that one, cause that's when she got spooked. Said she'd text. Made an excuse. And gone.

    If you texted her at the same number you always have and she isn't responding you are being ignored. There is no other reasonable explanation.

    What mistake you made doesn't change what you have to do. You're reliving what you can't ever go back and change. The only way forward IS forward.

    That's all I've learned about how it goes.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2021
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  3. CalicoSkies

    CalicoSkies Most Honored Senior Member Gold Supporting Member

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    I've thought about getting back on dating apps, though right now I don't feel like I'm in a good mental/emotional state to do that. I'd want to offer myself as a good potential partner ready for a relationship, and I'm not sure I'm 100% myself right now.

    It was getting harder and harder for me to hide how I felt. The more I felt, the harder it was to hold out and wait. At some point, I think at least one person has to communicate how they're feeling about things.
     
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  4. hogrider16

    hogrider16 Strat-Talker

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    There are no short cuts to mending a broken heart. Whenever anyone wants to be a friend because of past relationships, I have only one thing to say

    Run forrest run.jpg

    I'm sorry if someone was hurt, but I'm not cleaning up someone else's mess and I'm not paying the price because someone else treated you bad.
     
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  5. Antstrat

    Antstrat Dr. Stratster

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    Sorry you are going through this but am glad you are talking about it. Holding stuff like this in only makes you feel worse.
     
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  6. misterwogan

    misterwogan Senior Stratmaster

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    If it's going to happen, then it will probably happen when somebody finds you - finds you in a contented and relaxed state, suitable material for a long-term relationship. So you will need to become happy and contented with yourself.
     
  7. mjea80

    mjea80 Lost In The Light Silver Member

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    You said there is also a friendship section as well. This might be a good option in that a couple new friends will help you move forward from the last one. :)
     
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  8. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    Id see a therapist. No shame in it. But, it sounds a bit like youre having trouble feeling good about yourself. You need to feel good about yourself to move on.
     
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  9. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    Ah. Good.

    Just so you know, since youve been on strat talk Ive felt like youre a solid guy. One of the good ones. I have faith you will get through this.
     
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  10. CalicoSkies

    CalicoSkies Most Honored Senior Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Thanks.
     
  11. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    It took me a long time to realize its not me, its them. Youre a good guy. If someone ghosts you its a reflection on them not you. You just cant afford to wonder whats wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you other than the big life hit youre taking.
     
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  12. CalicoSkies

    CalicoSkies Most Honored Senior Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Yeah, I try to remind myself of that.
     
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  13. amstratnut

    amstratnut Peace thru Music.

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    I know it must be really tough. You got this.

    I'll shut up now. You're welcome to PM me if you want.
     
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  14. misterwogan

    misterwogan Senior Stratmaster

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    A couple of years ago you come on here and bared your soul and told us that you'd lost your job and were understandably worried about that. You've clearly sorted that out to your satisfaction - well done. In the same way, you will deal with and overcome this situation. That is axiomatic. And then, when you get older - you will wonder what all the fuss was about.
     
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  15. Impulsive guppy

    Impulsive guppy Strat-O-Master Gold Supporting Member

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    Is it possible the new relationship has brought up some emotions from the divorce that you didn’t know were there?
     
  16. CalicoSkies

    CalicoSkies Most Honored Senior Member Gold Supporting Member

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    I'm not sure. I felt like I was ready to meet someone new. With the new person I met, the mixed signals and getting my hopes up (and developing feelings) and then being let down has had me feeling very heartbroken & down. For me it has felt different from the divorce.

    It didn't really enter the 'relationship' stage either, but I had some hopes there..
     
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