Thinking of an Old Friend ...

Discussion in 'Sidewinders Bar & Grille' started by Chont, Nov 21, 2020 at 11:13 AM.

  1. Chont

    Chont Most Honored Senior Member

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    This came on Sirius and reminded me of my friend Alan. He hated Fiona Apple but we both loved the Beatles and played guitar together often and played this and Two of Us together all the time.

    I lost touch with him and found a message in my MySpace years later that he was trying to reconnect. My MySpace wasn’t really in use anymore so I missed the message by a couple of years. Tried to find him and couldn’t. Then finally found his Facebook and was thrilled to bits. But something wasn’t right. He’s posts were old and people were commenting how they missed him. He had passed away before I ever got to reconnect. I then found his online obit and there on the obit was a pic of him and I doing karaoke on his birthday. That hit hard. I sent his mom a message how much I loved him and how sorry I was that we were weren’t able to reconnect. I don’t even know what happened. Didn’t want to ask.

    Anyhoo. Here’s to friends lost.

    miss you Alan

     
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  2. abnormaltoy

    abnormaltoy Mouth draggin' knuckle breather Silver Member

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    "So long as they speak your name, you shall never die" Dan Brown

    Losing a friend can hurt every bit as much as losing a family member, but in a different way...we choose our friends, our families are presented to us largely as is.
     
  3. Chuck8436

    Chuck8436 Strat-O-Master

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  4. thomquietwolf

    thomquietwolf Dr. Stratster Silver Member

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    How utterly bittersweet...
    images (1).jpeg
     
  5. Justin226

    Justin226 Strat-Talker

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    So sorry for your loss. I had something similar happen recently. My best friend from grade school all the way through high school passed. Hadn’t talked to him in 15 years, but now I think about him all the time.

    Unfortunately we grew up in probably the last era before camera phones being ubiquitous, and I don’t have a single picture of him.

    cheers to you and your friend.
     
  6. rolandson

    rolandson Still Breathing

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    Something a friend recently wrote...

    "I don't read obits.
    If I don't know they're gone, they aren't...
    to me.

    And I do hate learning
    that someone I know has passed.
    It hurts.

    I don't read obits.
    Soon I'll stop answering the phone."
     
  7. Baelzebub

    Baelzebub Senior Stratmaster

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    Sorry to hear about your friend. I recently went looking for an old friend and found out he died in 2011. He was only 58 and all I could find was an obit which didn't mention how. I can only guess it must have been a motorcycle accident or the like.

    I never had any strong feelings one way or the other about Fioan Apple, but after watching that video, I can empathize with your friend. I hate her as well.
     
  8. Andrew Wasson

    Andrew Wasson Senior Stratmaster

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    I had a similar recollection about a week ago that woke me up early in the morning on the anniversary of a friend’s passing just to remind me that it was that day.

    I’ve lost friends and family who made a profound impact on my life. I know that in the heart wrenching loss there is a nugget of something but I have a hard time putting the words into what exactly it is. I guess the takeaway is that you have to celebrate the fact that for a while you had someone in your life who had such a profound influence and effect, whether they knew it or not.
     
  9. rafasounds

    rafasounds Senior Stratmaster

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    Sorry about your loss. You guys have reconnected somehow, and I think he knows it.
     
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  10. Chont

    Chont Most Honored Senior Member

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    Thanks for the replies

    I feel guilty for not seeing his attempt to reconnect and didn’t find him again until it was too late. Like two passing ships on different oceans.
     
  11. circles

    circles Resident Pinball Enthusiast

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    Last year I happened to think of a long lost childhood friend, and did a random facebook search, just wondering what he's up to. I, too, found similar results implying but not stating his passing. I sent a message, not really expecting a reply, and did not get one.

    Shine on you crazy diamonds.
     
  12. ukoldgit

    ukoldgit Most Honored Senior Member

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    A couple of years ago I lost a very good friend of mine that I used to do some serious drinking with, he had such a sense of humour that had me in tears, his speciality was sending out jokes via email to a select few of his friends.
    It went quiet for around 2 months so I sent him an email asking "you stlll alive you old bastard?" the chilling reply was "yes but not for too much longer, long story, short ending" he passed away a month later due to cancer, not only a great loss to me but the world lost a positive soul that brought humour and sarcastic wit to all he met.
    Those people are a rarity.
     
  13. Tone Deaf

    Tone Deaf Most Honored Senior Member

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    Eerily Guilty of Some very similar neglects here.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2020 at 11:03 PM
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  14. dante1963

    dante1963 Senior Stratmaster

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    I’m sorry for your loss.

    Ironically, this week I’ve been thinking a lot of an absent friend myself.

    Her name was Tracy, and we were all a part of a really tight bunch back in high school and after.

    She struggled with CF her whole life and died in 1997 at the age of 31 from complications from a double lung transplant. She was the most extraordinary person I’ve ever known.

    Because of her illness, she always looked like a nine year old girl. So imagine a tiny nine year old with a fierce intellect and the mouth of a sailor.

    I’ve always said that she was the best friend I ever had and the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever met.

    She always said she was proud to be both.

    I’m glad that the last thing we ever said to each other was “I love you.”

    But 23 years later I still miss her like hell. And I know I’ve made any number of mistakes since she died that she would have tried to talk me out of.

    I hope that your sadness eventually subsides and leaves behind just the good memories.
     
  15. JamesE

    JamesE Strat-O-Master

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    How many of us have had that experience? Last year I was travelling around England and decided to look up my best friend from Uni. We were together day and night in those days. He was quite easy to find, as he was well-known in the area - and I knew he would never have moved away. He'd died 2 years before.

    I've thought about him more in the last year than in the last 40 years.
     
  16. trapdoor2

    trapdoor2 Senior Stratmaster Gold Supporting Member

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    Just lost one Thursday. Fantastic singer, in many local bands and solo gigs. Amazing at taking requests. Knew thousands of songs. Great wife and kids, etc. I think we first met in '73...instant friends.

    We were the type of friends that no matter how long it had been, the conversation picked up as if we'd seen each other yesterday. He turned up with stomach cancer, beat it, recovered, got liver cancer which went spinal. Fought the fight but they're burying him today.

    Talked to him a month ago and he was looking forward to going to a famous Houston clinic for experimental therapies...but we both knew he wasn't gonna make it. His daughter told me yesterday how much he enjoyed our last chat.

    Mutual friend called this morning, his brother had called him to share his grief...and it made him call me. We all ran in the same gang. Old friends!
     
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  17. Eligius1976

    Eligius1976 Strat-Talker

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    I”m sorry for your loss. Totally agree with all your comments. Two years ago I had a similar sad experience, we all take different path in our lives and sometimes we lost touch with old friends. I remember how sad I felt when I tried to reconnect with an old friend and neighbour older than me, who gave me the first tips to learn guitar chords..He was a very good musician and person, played saxophone, bass, guitars and keyboards. He was also the father of my best free when we were teenagers. Lot of good memories, I pretty sure that I started to learn and love guitar thanks to him. I found out in the internet that he died 10 years ago, he was not very old. I felt a kind of guilty just because I stayed disconnected too many years.
    Sorry for my English mistakes..

    greetings from Spain
     
  18. fezz parka

    fezz parka fezz parka

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    I've buried my family and most of my friends.

    Just remember them. And live like they are still here.

     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2020 at 9:51 PM
  19. StummerJoe

    StummerJoe Senior Stratmaster

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    Just lost a dear friend shortly after midnight Monday morning. Feel your loss bro.
    rocky1.jpg RIP ROCKY
     
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  20. Bowmap

    Bowmap I nose a thang or two Platinum Supporting Member

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    I try not to remember their passing.
    I try not to endure any deep pain.
    I try not to feel the sadness in my heart.
    A smile upon my face as I choose to relive the good moments again.
    - Bowmap, just now.

    @Chont it is the good memories that will live on.
     
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